where are you now?

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Love is indeed a cycle, and I am now proud to say that I am already in my happy place.

Years ago I have been blogging about a lost great love but now I cannot categorize it as such, young love maybe but definitely not great. Now I feel like I have been rehabilitated, detoxified and cleansed of those past and horrible experiences. Now I can see light, happily married and an expectant mother soon. 🙂 Today, I can truly say that I have finally found LOVE.

reading through the past posts I published here in wordpress,  it has never occured to me that I was capable and painfully inspired to write tragic stories narrating my pains in detail. its as if Im in a blackhole.

trapped, unwated, sad

but now I am saved. I can see the beauty of life and the colors of love once again. Life is indeed a happy cycle.

life is indeed a happy cycle. My heart might be broken longer than actually being in love but at the end of everything a smile still prevails.

where are you now? is a blog of heartache and broken promises. But now that I have managed to move on and get on with my life. I want to transform this page as my link to the world. Where my thoughts can be shared and my voice can be heard.

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You’re not a dream after all for I have once again felt the warmth of your touch… I have yearned for this moment and I’m glad it came. I will treasure these keepsakes that you left and it will serve as my reminder that there is still sunshine after the long dark hours that you left me alone.

 

I’m disillusioned for even if we spent some time together again I know you’re no longer mine. I feel and fear that it doesn’t go deeper than that. It wasn’t meant to rekindle the fire it happened simply just to ignite a spark then it will turn to ashes once more. Still I want to express my gratitude for these recollections that I can take with me wherever faith would lead me.

 

Our love was like a ghost, a remnant of the past.

Tangible at first but now it only lingers so we can remember.

 

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Anima Sola
Pia lorraine
April 24, 2007

Sadness is infiltrating my being, I regret not for the man I just left but for the guy whom I lost for so long. The movement of my heart has been slow ever since he’s been out of my life. I miss everything about him and my heart is yearning for him, but my mind tells me other wise. I thought I am strong enough to avoid him, I thought I succeeded by leaving him but the memory I left still haunts me. I redirect myself with a lot of things but my soul always drift back into him. He impaired me in ways I cannot imagine someone is capable of doing. But he is a part of the past now, a past that I have to forget.

Why does the past still feel like the present? Why does love elude me? How did it happen that my one great love is not the one meant for me? Why does love and pain a never-ending cycle?

There are too many questions that linger in my head, capturing my entire soul and leaving it in a realm of tears and longing.

He is the best evidence of how elusive love can be for he is a reality that I cannot grasp. Every place that we’ve been together, every phrase that we shared with each other it’s all a reminder of how alone I am now. My lonely soul wanders through the night having tears and fear as its companion.

My sensible part is leaving me and I have to cling to my sanity. Years of trying and yet I am still dying.

“We lose the people we love because they are meant to love someone else. We lose them because we are destined to find somebody else. It is a simple fact that is sometimes hard to accept because we are too stubborn to let go of something that doesn’t belong to us anymore.”